Christmas Cheers

Hi folks. Do you feel the Christmas spirit already? I want to pause for a moment from hard news. I want us to have a moment to smile about even for a brief moment. In the spirit of the season, here are some funny lines. I hope you like them. Merry Christmas!

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What do monkeys sing at Christmas?
Jungle Bells, Jungle bells...!

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What do you get if you cross an apple with a Christmas tree?

A pineapple!

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Whats happens to you at Christmas?

Yule be happy!

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How long does it take to burn a candle down?

About a wick!

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What did Adam say on the day before Christmas?
It's Christmas, Eve!

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What does Father Christmas suffer from if he gets stuck in a chimney?

Santa Claustrophobia!

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What do you call a letter sent up the chimney on Christmas Eve?
Black mail!

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Why does Father Christmas go down the chimney?

Because it soots him!

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Mum, Can I have a dog for Christmas?
No you can have turkey like everyone else!

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Who is never hungry at Christmas?

The turkey - he's always stuffed!

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What bird has wings but cannot fly?

Roast turkey!

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What's the best thing to put into a Christmas cake?

Your teeth!

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We had grandma for Christmas dinner.

Really? We had turkey!

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What happens if you eat the Christmas decorations?

You get tinsel-itus!

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What do vampires put on their turkey at Christmas?

Grave-y!

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Knock Knock
Who's there?

Mary

Mary who?

Mary Christmas!

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What did one Angel say to the other?
Halo there!

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How do cats greet each other at Christmas?

"A furry merry Christmas & Happy mew year"!

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What does Dracula write on his Christmas cards?

Best vicious of the season

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What does Father Christmas write on his Christmas cards?

ABCDEFGHIJKMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ (No-L !!)!

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What happened when the snowgirl fell out with the snowboy?
She gave him the cold shoulder!

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What do snowmen wear on their heads?
Ice caps!

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What do snowmen eat for lunch?

Icebergers!

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Where do snowmen go to dance?
Snowballs!

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What do you get if cross a snowman and a shark?

Frost bite!

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How do you call an Eskimo cow?

An Eskimoooooo!